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In the run up to this Christmas, with the shopping mania intensifying, there seemed to be a greater emphasis than ever on the materialistic (since when was Black Friday a UK thing?), while at the same time many of my friends and family have never felt more lacklustre at the idea of shopping ’til you drop.
Sainsbury’s controversial Christmas advert, in many ways, came close to capturing some of the spirit of common unity and love which affects us at this time of year. While Sainsbury’s intention was to use our emotional response to help sell their products, the feeling the ad evoked was very real. That feeling is compassion.
Philosophical definitions of compassion tend to debate the letter, rather than the spirit of the law. Whether compassion is an emotion or an action, or how it overlaps with empathy, altruism and love are worthwhile academic questions, but we should never lose sight of the lived experience. When you watch the Sainsbury’s ad, your heart goes out to other people who are suffering, and you want to help them because you feel for them, whoever they may be. That is compassion.
Even without an articulate definition, it is still worth investigating why compassion is worthy of cultivating (other than the vague sense it is something beautiful or noble), especially at Christmas time. After all, compassion is painful – part of the process of cultivating compassion is acknowledging and experiencing suffering. Yet to do so brings us closer to other people. It dissolves the boundaries we put up to block out the world because it is painful and unsatisfying. We can feel a connectedness with others that, under the bright lights of the department store, is hard to come by.
It is not unwrapping a new Ipad, it is the simple acts of kindness and love which have the biggest impact at Christmas time. Upworthy asked ‘what do you want that money cant buy?’, the responses showed more than ever the selflessness and generosity that Christmas is capable of bringing out in people.
Compassion forgoes the drive to consume and taps into something deeper, more fundamental, the division between ourselves and others melts away slightly, there is an awareness of common humanity. It clarifies that whatever the other person may be like, underneath it all they too feel pain and joy and sadness. They too want to be happy and don’t want to suffer. Compassion allows us to see that this is true of everyone, that there is a commonality too often overlooked in the scramble to get the best piece of the turkey.
- Caroline Ivimey-Parr